Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My Father as a quadriplegic

My Father As a Quadriplegic

My dad became a quad in 1999.  It was quite sudden and the onset was slow as a result of trauma to the upper spinal column, C4.  The incident in which he became a quad is one I am not prepared to share for many reasons at this time, but his story changed my life and I would assume I am not alone when I say Living with a Quadriplegic is a life changing event, for all, especially the quad.

I found in the ten years I got to be with my father as he changed into his new life as a quad, that there were very few people, actually no one, that I could rest my pain on.  I was there for my father whenever he needed me, not because I felt I had to, but because I could not think of anything else I would rather do.  This was not just my father, but one of my biggest hero's and biggest fans.  He and I were friends as much as we were father son.

How do you turn to this hero that can't feed himself, or take care of himself and not break down?  Who do you turn to, to even begin to hope will understand you?  What do you do when you are left with a father that is helpless, who once was the strongest, toughest, biggest man you knew, and now you take care of him?  You love him, you live and you laugh.

It took me years to get there and I felt I did it alone.  I'm sure there are thousands of resources, but none that came to my aid, while I was going through this.  I hope that through this page and my face book page, there might start a community of people with resources, support, encouragement, and love to help those currently going through this.

I am not trying to take anything away from the individual that is now or has been the quadriplegic, any one with any type of spinal cord injury, neck, back or head trauma has a special place in my heart.  I don't know how they do it, they have the real strength.  But while you are there for them, who is there for you.  You need to stay strong for them and to do so you need help.

My father later became very active with Friday Study Ministry's the first on line church and was able to begin his process of healing through helping and accepting Jesus Christ.  His story can be found in the Church Pages, but I will weave it here week by week, telling his life and my feelings, hoping to provide encouragement for friends, family, loved ones who are living with a quadriplegic.

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